this is not my beautiful house

I try to look attentive and engaged in meetings when all I am really doing is looking at my floaters

I try to look attentive and engaged in meetings when all I am really doing is looking at my floaters

That’s not really what this blog is about but it’s one of the best titles so far don’t you think?

So dark out there. I am in front of a big window, typing like mad, and when I look up I expect to see something going on out there – even if it’s a very pale something – but when it’s still so dark like this all I see is my reflection hanging on the window like a ghost. Jesus. Nobody is ever attractive while sitting in front of a screen but this is ridiculous. I look like Bruce Dern.

Do you know what that glow makes you look like? Seriously. Are you aware? Just take a close look at somebody else and if that isn’t enough to make you run for your tweezers I don’t think your glasses are working but I will assume, unlike autocorrect, that your gasses are working just fine.

I mean those chin hairs look like branches in that awful light don’t they?

I always write little notes on my phone when I’m shivering on the GO platform waiting for the train – what the felse would I be doing there? – but when I got on the train on Monday I think it was, I had to quit writing because I was too busy hugging my nice warm recently stirfried lunch because of course the stupid train was blowing cold air like it was last week or something and my purse was like a hot water bottle.

The rest of the day was skippy and busy and fast and full of surprises as in that’s due tomorrow too! and I didn’t get a chance to write anything more except for a few things I needed to pick up at No Frills on my way home which I would have to do really fast because the dishwasher repair guy was going to be there “after 6”. I told him that was a pretty big window and could he narrow it down but I don’t think he understood because all he did when he finally responded was amend his statement to “after 7” and that was at 6:40.

So I whipped through No Frills trying to decipher my list which began with Hello and included Marmite which I’ve never even had, and Clean which was maybe subliminal

In the blur of the next day or maybe the one after, I got an email with the subject line OUTSTANDING CREATIVE and I thought well finally some recognition but I soon understood that the sender, Taylor Somebody, meant that I still owed them something as in it was outstanding as in not done yet and you should have heard my eyes roll.

But we have done some outstanding creative this year and the billboards and transit shelters and busses will be sporting it all in a couple of weeks. Not – contrary to the way everybody says it – in a couple weeks because that’s leaving out the entire word “of” and I’m not one those people who do that.

Lots of meetings this time of year and I don’t know about you but omg I think next time I’ll pay somebody (maybe Taylor!) to knock on the door and say there’s another meeting scheduled in that room in ten minutes because that way we’d actually get things done in an efficient manner instead of talking about dumb stuff that people should figure out on their own.

But enough about work because I’ve got it pretty good I guess even though I’m on the 7am train now, and it’s Thursday now which promises to be another busy-to-the-point-of-cardio kind of day. It’s looking very much like it might rain by the time I get to my stop and all I can do it think about that little emergency umbrella in my stupid drawer at work that I spent $35 on – the umbrella, not the stupid drawer – because it’s super-compact which I thought meant very cleverly designed and I assumed, you know, that it would be grown-up size, but it’s actually like something Princess Charlotte might use when it’s only slightly damp and not windy.

And it’s cold again. The battery from my laptop is keeping me at least a little warm, thank goodness, because the air is still on in here even though people are wearing puffer jackets and fuggs – if you can believe it – and I’m slightly envious in a temporary way only though, because juxt oppose it warms up this afternoon.

That’s when I’ll be out of the quiet zone, full of punchlines and vinegar – unless I splurge on the good stuff – and won’t have to rely on imaginary slang for a laugh

If butterflies can migrate all the way to Lorem Ipsum, why can’t I even google anything?

If butterflies can migrate all the way to Lorem Ipsum, why can’t I even google anything?