All in Feeling Funny
Dear Pelvic Floor
I miss you. I think about you all the time especially when hiking
I am a shy girl with wildly fluctuating self esteem
So why do I full-on holler the most ridiculous things I wonder
Triangles were first on my shopping list
also wax, Wendsley, crans, and murder so like, thanks, auto-current and Siri, you guys sock
I Can See You From Here
I have needed my second cataract surgery since before the pandemonium
Divine-ish Intervention
Something made my coffee pot go on an hour early today
These new EXIT signs are more like MAD-DASH-TO-THE-WASHROOM signs
Every time I see one I end up outside needing to pee
Feels like something’s gonna pop doesn’t it?
Or is it just me?
Why I Hate Spiders – The Movie
If I edited this for swearing there’d be nothing left so brace yourselves, those little fuckers are everywhere
Giving Up The Ghosts
I’m not sure what that means exactly or even remotely but I think it qualifies as a resolution don’t you?
Twister Hooves and Balloons (Oh My!)
I repeated those three words all the way back from our walk so I’d remember to talk about them and you might want to not click
Are there crash courses on meditation?
Because serenity fucking now already
I am the Tortoise AND the Hare... also the Walrus
Koo Koo Ca-Choo (spellcheck just keeled over)
Help Wanted
Went to the gym yesterday for the first time since the pandem-onium and am writing today’s blog horizontally
Refrain is A Beautiful Homonym when it comes to my new Christmas jingle
To the tune of Silver Bells, the children laughing part, and inspired by a flailing lawn-Santa down the street, my refrain – which I obviously can’t – goes like so…
Ten Things I Googled Last Week
And One I Didn’t
Oh look... a Flying Fuckaroo!
Not to be a drama queen but going to work every day feels like a fucking sentence or maybe more of an essay or maybe a fucking dissertation on the sudden proliferation of Flying Fuckaroos narrated by (pause) David (pause) fucking (pause) Attenborough (sigh)
Homing from Work
Gettin’ shit done
Final Draft, Second Wind
I ran all the way home for that headline
