this is not my beautiful house

Don’t Tell Me To Calm Down Mother-Fucker

Don’t Tell Me To Calm Down Mother-Fucker

That’s the title of my first country song. It’s also the lyrics. Hope you like it

I’ve been swooning at the gym these past few days, you know, listening to the twangs of steel guitar and George Jones (who looks weirdly like Jim Carrey), Tammy Wynette whose gorgeous voice knocks the wind out of me more than the rowing machine, Kris Kristofferson’s melty poetry, and beautifully raunchy Dwight Yoakam.

Not sure I’m ready for Conway, which autocorrect thought about turning to Kanye, who I’ll never be ready for

It’s raining pretty good out there, bouncing off the skylight in the kitchen so loud that it feels like I’m at the cottage which is nice and also gives me the feeling I should just go back to bed but I’ve already had a big bully of a coffee and what’s the point of just lying there clenching?

So I’ve been reading a lot on Medium while I’m waiting for a book from Amazon which was supposed to be here yesterday and might come today and I don’t want to start another one in between so the little articles on Medium are just perfect. Except they’re not. At least not for me and not at this time.

I mean, you can get disillusioned about almost anything on Medium without even trying

For instance, It’s Possible That The Benefits Of Lorem Ipsum Are Nothing More Than A Convincing Sales Pitch, where Lorem Ipsum represents your favourite thing. Also, Drinking Lemon Water Is A Total Waste Of Time after I just bought a pretty-good-but-not-perfect gadget for squeezing the little suckers. (I was going to use Lorem Ipsum instead of Lemon Water but in between deleting one and adding the other an interesting lyric presented itself and I had to quickly jot it down and then I just command zedded and plunked Lemon Water back where it belonged. Much ado, I know, which is another not bad lyric.)

Talk about bursting your bubble

My interests are varied to the point of scattered and Medium thinks they can make recommendations based on my reading history but I think they should stop trying because here’s the latest story they suggested: 8 Vim Tricks That Will Take You From Beginner To Expert

And they use capitals on every single word which is weird but not as weird as the very unrevolutionary ideas they sometimes disguise as revolutionary

Why Your Brain Needs Time For Doing Nothing At All

Holy shit, mother-fucker, ever heard of daydreaming?

And then there are those writers who think their headlines are irresistible. Like this one. What Makes People Great Isn’t What You Think and lazy me tried to copy and paste that headline so I wouldn’t have to key it in and I inadvertently clicked on it instead and the article was about sky diving and how it takes practice to get good which is kind of surprising, isn’t it, because it never occurred to me that one could get good at jumping and floating. I mean, there are actual sky diving coaches.

What do they say?… Ready?… Set?… Go!

I did not have to search out these silly articles to prove my point. They were all right there in my morning Medium email. No kidding. One after the other.

Here’s another intensely annoying one: Strategies For Achieving Your Goals, (here it fucking comes) Regardless Of Your Willpower To Succeed

So Please, Don’t Tell Me To Calm Down

If G is for Groovy, I am forEezing

If G is for Groovy, I am forEezing

Out of touch is when you turn on the Emmys and don’t know anybody

Out of touch is when you turn on the Emmys and don’t know anybody